Over the last two weeks, it has gone to beyond freezing to nearly 50 degrees...today I woke up and the sun was out :) That's about the only really good news I have to report. The last couple of weeks have been a blur of lack of rehearsal for Serenade (the most we've had was an hour and a half on Tuesday), nearly passing out in my voice lesson this past week (yes, really), studying my ass off for midterms (thank God they're over), and occasionally going out in between. Soooo ready for spring break.
I'm currently praying for peace and clarity and to stop worrying and over-analyzing. I don't care to go into the details, but I struggle all the time with trying to analyze and re-analyze all the time and blaming myself when things don't work out. I fault myself all. the. time. And it's stupid and unnecessary, but I do it, and I don't know how to stop. I think it is because I grew up in ballet--constantly in front of a mirror, being told what's wrong, what to correct, nutrition seminar after nutrition seminar, and always being told you're not good enough. I need to stop blaming myself or thinking that it's something I did wrong...because I know it's not...but my brain refuses to acknowledge that. Anyway, enough depressingness...
This year for spring break, I'll be taking a bus down to Biloxi, Mississippi with a campus organization called Y'ALL (Youth Advocating Leadership and Learning) to build houses and reach out to the still ravaged gulf coast. I originally wanted to go with Habitat, but by the time I got my stuff together, all their trips were filled up. I've been dying to go on an Alternative Spring Break since I found out what they were a few years ago. Now, I'll admit that going to Mississippi isn't as cool as going to some place like Costa Rica or Africa (though I'm hoping to get there eventually), but I'm so pumped. I was given a desire to serve, and I couldn't be more excited. The only scary thing is that I know absolutely NO ONE. Not a soul. I know it will be great, but the uneasiness of not even having one single familiar face with you is a bit nerve-wracking. But I'm pumped. We leave Sunday the 14th.
I want to go shopping. I haven't been hardcore shopping since Christmas break, and I feel like it's definitely time for a day at Nordstrom and Bloomingdale's with good friends and a credit card. Hello, compulsive retail therapy.
In order to fill the void that has been left in my heart since the Olympics ended (beyond depressed that Bob Costas no longer dominates my television), I've been watching too much trashy television. My friend Becca got me hooked on The Real Housewives (Orange County and NYC), and I'm ashamed to say I'm a little addicted. These women are ridiculous and act like they're stuck in high school. Hilarious. I'm also obsessed with GREEK and Make It or Break It. I know, right? But seriously, GREEK is soooo entertaining and it's hilarious to see aspects of my school's greek system, while exaggerated, played out on TV. And Make It or Break It is kind of like art-imitating-life for me. I mean, I know I'm not headed for London 2012 (it can't come soon enough by the way), but the things the gymnasts go through are very similar to what I've experienced as a dancer--pressure to be perfect, lack of friends outside the studio/gym, etc. I mean, of course it's horribly melodramatic and way overdone, but I love it nonetheless. Also, I'm so glad The Bachelor is over so I can have my Monday night back. Dear Jake, I'm pretty sure you picked Vienna for lust, but whatever. You'll regret it in about a year when she's still acting like she's 20 and you're almost in your mid-30s. Love, Ellen
That's enough for now...hopefully I'll be updating this thing more regularly...it's been a while, but I've been swamped.
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