Year in Review: Songs, Shows, and Movies

There are always those songs and shows and movies that you become addicted to or that define the year.  Here are the ones that defined mine...in no particular order.

Songs:

1. Essentially every song from GLEE. Yes, there have been a few that I did not care for (I'm looking at you "Dog Days are Over"), but mostly, I'm obsessed. Highlights include the Journey Medley from the season 1 finale, the entirety of the NPH, Madonna, and Britney episodes, the epic Darren Criss led acapella version of Teenage Dream, and any song where Kurt/Chris Colfer gets a solo.

2. "For the Widows in Paradise, For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti" by Sufjan Stevens. I choreographed to this in April, and it was definitely a challenge to go outside my comfort zone and choreograph something, but the music (and my four lovely dancers) made it easy. And I'm still obsessed with that song.

3. Essentially everything by Explosions in the Sky, but I'm pretty sure I could listen to "Your Hand in Mine" every minute of every day for the rest of my life and I would die happy.

4. "Celebrate You" by Corbin Bleu. No, I'm not kidding. After our excursion to Disney World this summer, the Orlando RAs and I came back and played it about 875738 times, and it became our summer anthem.  Yes, I'm aware that we're complete dorks.

5. "Waka Waka (Time for Africa)" by Shakira. World Cup 2010. That is all.

6. "Africa" by Straight No Chaser. While it wasn't new to me this year, it definitely helped my dressing room mates and I calm down before Nutcracker shows. It was frequently on repeat in Room 3.

7. "Miracles" by Norwegian Recycling...what became an IUDM anthem. So. Amazing.

8. The getting ready/going out/party anthems of the year that were overplayed and overdone, but you loved them anyway.  My list won't be anywhere near exhaustive, so I'm just gonna trust that you know the songs I'm talking about (ahem California Girls and everything by Ke$ha, etc., etc., etc.)

9. "Rude Boy" by Rihanna was our IUBT Spring Semester 2010 anthem. We were obsessed. Oh my...

10. The following albums: B/Min E by ALL CAPS (the soundtrack to my summer and my workouts), Sigh No More by Mumford & Sons (my calming soundtrack when I needed serenity...still angry about the fact that "Little Lion Man" is now always on the radio), Illuminations by Josh Groban (though my voice major friends pretty much hate me for being in love with him, I'm obsessed, and his new album is brilliant), and The OBC RENT soundtrack (renewed love for it was instilled when the theatre department put it on in October, and I still can't get those songs out of my head).

**I'm sure there are many, many more songs that I could talk about, but that's a fine list for starters.

Shows:

1. GLEE. As mentioned above, I'm in love.  I know some people hate it, but I adore this show.  My Tuesday nights are made infinitely better when there's a new episode, and especially once Darren Criss was introduced as Blaine, my love only deepened.

2. Pretty Little Liars. Yes. Don't judge me. It's so good. 4 days til the season 2 premiere.

3. Doctor Who. While I was first introduced to Doctor Who over 2 years ago now, it never ceases to amaze me how much I love it.  While I, like most, miss David Tennant, I'm totally infatuated with Matt Smith and Karen Gillan is effing brilliant.

4. Gossip Girl. I barely watched season 3, but season 4 has sucked me back in. The misbehavior of the rich and privileged is apparently something I can't escape.

5. The Tudors. I only just started watching it a few days ago, but I am hooked. The 16th century according to Showtime is sexy. Henry Cavill as Charles Brandon...end of story.

EDIT: 6. Modern Family. How could I forget?! Hands down one of the funniest shows on television. Brilliant cast, sweet story, and Phil Dunphy....what more could you want?

Movies:

1. Toy Story 3. As I said in my post below, the culmination of a trilogy. It is beautiful.

2. Black Swan. You know my thoughts on this already.

3. Deathly Hallows Part 1.  You know my thoughts on this already, as well.

4. Inception. I still think it's one of the most visually stunning movies I've ever seen.  And JGL and Leo were incredible. The word that everyone kept coming back with was "mind fuck" and I'm pretty sure they were right.

5. The Social Network. Seeing the unfolding of the website that most of us spend way too much of our lives on was probably the weirdest and coolest thing ever.  How much our lives have become completely digitized in so short a time. Oh, and it didn't hurt that Armie Hammer is a total hunk, too.

6. Sex and the City 2. Ok, so it wasn't good. At all. And all that decadence in a summer of recession was plain uncalled for. But I have an attachment to those characters and so of course, I had to see it...twice.  It was certainly not a DEFINING movie for the year, but I think it still belongs on my list.

I think that's a good list for now...if I think of others, I will come back and edit.  You might ask why there are no books on my list...the truth is that I have had little time to read for anything except school (even this summer I only squeezed in a couple of books because of an independent study course), so I really don't have any books that defined my year. Oh, except of course The Hunger Games series. Which is phenomenal. That's all.

I still don't really have NYE plans, so I guess I better get my butt in gear and find some. Love youuu!!!

Year in Review, Continued

These are moments and events (smaller things/perfect little moments) that I neglected to mention in my last post...

Getting to go to Infinitus 2010 for a brief few hours
This was definitely unexpected.  I found myself in Orlando during Infinitus, but due to the constraints of working as an RA, I was sure that I wasn't going to be able to get time off to visit.  However, by some miracle, I was able to leave campus and hang out with Marlena and Leah in the gorgeous hotel pool, and was even able to attend a little bit of the ball...I got to see people I hadn't seen in AAAAAGESSSSS, and it was just genuinely lovely.  I'm still praying for a miracle to attend LeakyCon 2011, but audition expenses are proving steep and, due to the uncertainty of what I will be doing in July, I honestly don't know what I'm going to do.  Pray that something pans out and that I'm able to attend...I can't imagine not seeing DH Part 2 without the rest of the fandom.

Sneaking out and seeing Toy Story 3 with the Orlando RAs
It was late, we got lost, and it was a whopping $17 movie ticket, but that was one of the most fun few hours ever.  It was so great to see the culminating film of the trilogy with people that, like me, had grown up with Andy.  I have yet to watch it without bawling my eyes out. And I'm totally ok with that.

Deathly Hallows Midnight Release
This was the first release that had happened while I was actually IN school, so it was amazing to be able to go with two of my dearest friends. I used my Halloween costume and dressed as the Golden Snitch.  The film was brilliant, and I am so excited for what Yates has in store for us in July.

Serenade
Spring Ballet 2010 was not the greatest time I've ever had at IU...I felt kind of shafted because, for the third time, I was in the back of the Serenade corps.  But, while I would have much rather been cast as Dark Angel, or at least had the opportunity to learn Rubies, I was still so grateful to be performing my favorite ballet of all time.  The last show, I got a little emotional on stage. The music, the tulle, the movement...it was one of those religious experiences I occasionally have on stage, and it was beautiful.

Summer Session I
Living with two of my best friends in a house (finally!) where I could cook my own food and bake as much as my heart desired was amazing.  Yes, the being in school part sucked, but that was a small price to pay for those 6 weeks of bliss.  Brownies, wine, and countless trips to Redbox defined that part of my summer, and it was brilliant.

--- No photo evidence :( ---

General good times with IUBT
Because my sorority has been a much different place this semester (not that it's not great), I've been spending a lot more time with the ballet dancers, who I know will be my friends for the rest of my life.  So many bad days turned into fabulous nights, and when we couldn't take it anymore, we just said, "Screw it," and took shots.  I would not have gotten through Allegro or Snow Queen without praying with one of my dearest friends before all the shows.  I would have cried without baking nights or wine nights or general craziness that has occurred with these people.  I love them with all of my heart, and I can't wait to soak up every minute with them in 2011.

Well, I'm off to watch more of The Tudors, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite shows.  Damn, Showtime makes the 16th century look sexy.  Ok, enough of my ramblings.  Good night!

Year in Review: Memorable Events

Inspired in part by the lovely Sarah Badger, I'm going to countdown to 2011 with my most memorable (happy and not so happy) moments and memories of 2010.  Overall, it was a year of both change and constancy.  I dealt with a lot, learned a lot, laughed a lot, and, above all, laughed a lot.  Today, we'll start with  memorable events that occurred this year.

1. My mom's wedding
I honestly don't think this year would have been what it was without the marriage of my mother to the most wonderful man in February.  Yes, it's been different to get used to sharing a house with extra people (and pets), but seeing my mom this happy has given me hope that I will one day find someone as wonderful as she has found and has also (for the most part) restored my faith in men.

2. Spring Break in Mississippi
One of the most rewarding things I've ever participated in.  I met some really incredible friends on that trip, and it was so much more wonderful and fulfilling than I believe any trip to Cancun would have been.  I guess I learned this year that service in some form has to be a part of my life...which brings me to my next point.

3. Orlando Ballet Summer Intensive 2010
I'm going to go more in depth about this one in a post later this week, but, while the dancing part of the 5 weeks was less than great, the experiences I shared with those 12 other RAs cannot be replaced. Disney, Cirque, and The Wizarding World all in one month?!  I am too lucky.

4. My Grandfather's Passing
In the middle of Orlando, I got the phone call that my grandfather had passed away just a few days shy of his birthday.  It was an emotional few days to say the least.  I was so grateful that he was no longer suffering, and that the Lord had taken him for His own.  But I was also grieving.  I hadn't really grieved for anyone close to me since my other grandfather passed away about 8 or 9 years ago, and I guess I forgot what it was like.  It's a lot to deal with, but I know that he is happy now, probably playing his guitar somewhere, and looking down on us all.

5. Fall Ballet 2010
Not only was I cast in Allegro Brillante, which is definitely one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life, I had the privilege of working with Josh Bergasse on his new piece called "The Baker Dances."  He utilized me a lot and it was the first time I'd gotten to do really contemporary stuff in a long time.  I felt so confident on stage and it was one of the most thrilling things I've ever performed.  I felt so blessed to be a dancer in those moments.  It was truly incredible.

6. IUDM 2010

Remember when I was incredibly upset because I did not get onto the committee that I had initially gone out for?  HA!  This year was largely defined by my experiences with Alumni Relations and our work and my committee.  If I had a dime for every time I was on the floor laughing with these people (or crying with them) I'd be freaking rich right now.  We became a family so quickly and we remain that way a month and a half post-marathon.  How did I get so lucky to know such amazing people?  And then that weekend. Those 36 hours. I don't even...AHH!  $1,602,713.20. Inspiring. Beautiful. Unreal.

7. Nutcracker 2010
Being cast as one of four snow queens in IUBT's Nutcracker was simultaneously the biggest blessing and biggest curse.  It was 6 weeks of an emotional rollercoaster.  When it was good, it was great, but when it went badly, I was a mess.  It drove me a little crazy (not quite Nina Sayres, but maybe about 20% of that).  But then that Sunday afternoon...it was just...it went as well as it could have.  I threw my whole self into it, and, though I know it wasn't completely perfect, it was absolutely the best I could have done.  And the lift was perfect.  And it was so joyful.

I think that's a fairly good list for the moment.  If I think of anything else, I'll add to it.  Stay tuned for more lists of my 2010.  Speaking of New Year's, I really need plans...hmmm....

P.S. Let me know what you think of the new layout :)

Christmastime: Nostalgia, Current Enjoyment, and Future Fears

Why is it that come December, we all long to be 5 again?  I think something about the snow and eggnog seep into our psyches and make us yearn for the days of being innocent and carefree...and when we still believed in Santa Claus.  It's upsetting that Christmastime, as I age, has become a bit more stressful, and how the month of December has turned into whirlwind push-yourself-to-breaking-point-to-get-ready-for-Nutcracker-and-then-perform-it chaos followed by frantically-try-to-finish-projects-and-papers-you-put-off-and-cram-for-finals madness, so that by the time I returned home for break this past Friday, I did nothing but sleep and sit for about 48 hours.  Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved performing Nutcracker this year...snow went well and the ballet department came together more than I'd seen it, and it was just lovely and uncompetitive and supportive and family-like.  But the stress of it wore me out...and the following two weeks--dead week (which was not dead) and finals week (which sucked because, though I only had two finals, they fell the last two days of the week) were no picnic either.  So I guess what I'm saying is that school has sort of interfered with my Christmastime enjoyment.  But being home has sort of washed that all clean...and family time and shopping and baking and decorating and loveliness has made up for over half the month of December being completely crazy and nuts (no pun intended).

This got me thinking, however, about the prospect of me (hopefully and God willing) being in a company next year...where the likelihood of being able to be home for Thanksgiving is, well, not...and the probability of a long Nutcracker run through December 26th or later (Boston's goes through NYE--ew) is pretty high.  I haven't spent Christmas away from home, well, EVER.  The thought of not being in my bed on Christmas morning pretty much makes me sick to my stomach.  Aaaaand the fact that one weekend of Nutcracker shows did me in makes me question my ability to survive a long Nut run without completely burning out or getting injured.  I know that this is just all speculation in my head...the usual worrying and overthinking that my brain seems to put me through on a daily basis, but these are real fears of mine.  I don't question my ability to make friends in the company where I will hopefully end up, and therefore, I don't doubt that I will be able to figure out how to have Christmas away from home in the middle of Nutcracker.  But right now, thinking about that makes me sad and terrified.

All I want in the world is for my audition season beginning in January to go well and for me to come out on the other side in May knowing where I'll be in August and hopefully with plans in the works on how to get there.  All I want in the world is get a job dancing.  If a company that offers me a job has a long Nutcracker season, it will certainly not impact if I say "yes."  A job's a job.  Sacrifice has been one of the words that's followed me around my whole life.  Maybe Christmas at home will just have to wait until December 27th next year...

...Or, who knows?  Maybe I'll end up at a company like where my dear friend Emily is and get to go home on the 17th of December...

I hope you all have a very merry Christmas, or, if you celebrate something else that you have a great holiday and a Happy New Year...I might be back here before the 1st of January, but just in case I'm covering all my bases.  Be safe and enjoy your families and friends.  I hope this Christmas you find yourselves blessed by the gifts of God and the goodness of grace.  Much love.  <3

Black Swan, Finals, and Waiting to be home for Christmas

So...I saw Black Swan today. And instead of sleeping, I now find myself unable to get the movie out of my head. It's still spinning.

My initial thoughts are that it was creepy and weird and awkward and scary and different and unexpected and kind of really cool. Because I do not think I can do a review justice, I will simply stick with a list of things I liked and didn't like.

Things I liked:

1. Seeing familiar faces in the dancers in the background.  Dancers from Pennsylvania Ballet were featured as extras and a couple are acquaintances of mine.  Very cool to be in a movie theater and go, "I know her!"

2. The close-up of the foot in the fouette sequence. Pretty sure those were Sarah Lane's feet...fierce.

3. Natalie Portman's acting.  Whether you loved the movie or hated it, you cannot doubt that the girl deserves at least an Oscar nom, if not a win.

4. Natalie Portman's Black Swan makeup...obsession.

5. The creepy-not-knowing-what-the-hell-was-going-on-or-what-was-real-and-not-real of it all.

Things I did not like:

1. The stereotypes. Ok, we get it...she's supposed to be a control freak and she's a ballet dancer...she must have bulimia. #annoying

2. The sex scenes. They were awkward and uncomfortable and I covered my eyes.

3. Nina's relationship with her mother made me want to vomit. I think it was definitely a vital part of the story, but the mommy-dearestness of it all just kind of made me sick to my stomach.

4. There was more blood than I had anticipated. It was fine, but just unexpected.

5. The company seemed very competitive.  Though at times, they were supportive of Nina and the other dancers, it seemed very cutthroat.  The nature of companies allows for healthy competition; however, companies are more like families than anything else.  If you don't have love and support from your colleagues, you've got nothin' and you won't survive in this world.  Although, maybe that was the point...Nina's complete inability to be normal and her disconnect from the rest of the company and her living-with-her-mother thing perhaps isolated her and fed her delusions.

Overall, I really liked it...however, all the "masterpiece" and "perfect" reviews are a little lost on me simply because it's way different watching it from the perspective of a dancer.  It's a very dark view of my world, and, while I understand it is much more psychothriller than documentary, it kind of depicts the ballet world as one that is beyond crazy, with all directors lusting after their principals and all principals going crazy over performing Odette/Odile. But in general, I thought it was a fantastic film, and I'm probably going to go with my mom over break...might leave the step-dad at home though...those sex scenes were just too much to handle...

In other news, I went to a very fun IUBT gathering on Saturday night and wore a priceless outfit...it was an Ugly Christmas Sweater Potluck and I looked absolutely ridiculous.  Have a look:

Other winners included Kiki:

Alyssa in her child's homemade sweater complete with fuzzy bear:

 

And Mara and Colleen, who matched in their ridiculous denim dresses:

Alright, I'm off to bed, now that my head is partially cleared.  Gonna pick up coffee in the morning and then hit the music library and the books hard.  Chaucer final on Thursday and Ancient Greek Culture final on Friday.  So close to break I can taste it...but I have to, you know, not fail first.  Here's hoping!  Good luck to the rest of you in the throes of finals week--I hope your paper-writing, project-finishing, exam-studying is going well...well, as well as it can, at least.  To those of you already on break, I'm jealous.  To those of you who are in the throes of Nutcracker season, hang in there...praying for you to have longevity and joy in the monotony.  And to the rest of you, I hope that you are well and finding at least a little time to yourself in this busy month of Christmas shopping, gathering, and craziness.  Love to all.

The End is Beginning...

So that whole blogging-through-tech-week thing didn't exactly come to fruition, did it?  Sorry...I barely had time to sleep or eat, let alone tell you all about it...

Anyway, Nutcracker has been done for 3 days now, and I guess I'm more relieved than sad.  But I'm still sad.  The performances went better than I could have possibly expected them to.  I had more fun dancing Snow Queen on stage, and it finally felt like all those tears were worth it.  I've never cried so much over a role ever, and it was more amazing than I could have imagined.  Truth be told, I am a little sad it's over though.  That was my last IUBT Nutcracker.  That is the 2nd to last time I will share the MAC stage with them.  There is nothing like the friendships I have with these people.  We've been through everything together the last 2 1/2 years and I can't believe that in a few short months, I will be an alumna of Indiana University and will be leaving behind all the wonderful people that this place has allowed me to meet.  I never wanted to do college.  And it has turned into the most incredible and unexpected blessing in my life.  Best, most important decision ever.  I just need not to focus so much on the imminence of graduation and savor my last semester of college with the best friends ever.

I finally finished my Chaucer paper last night (thank God).  Not sure how I did and I honestly don't care all that much...though I probably will when I get it back...ugh.  I'm really bummed because I basically have nothing to do for the next week...my only two finals are next Thursday and Friday.  Cruel, cruel joke, Registrar's Office.  I just want to be home.  Praying for motivation and resolve for this last week.

I cannot wait to be home with family celebrating Christmas...I feel like I haven't really been able to enjoy the season yet because I've been so swamped with Nutcracker and school and it being 7 degrees here in Btown. 

Alrighty, I'm off to watch more bad made-for-tv Christmas movies in an effort to take my mind off how hungry I am and then head to bed.  I hope all of you who are studying for finals are fairing better than I am.  Safe travels for those of you making journeys home soon.  <3