I'm baaaaack!

Um...hey, world.  Where did the last 4 months go?  And also, why did I forget about blogging for them?  Oops!  I am sorry.  Please forgive me, dear readers.  I'm sure you didn't miss me much anyway...my life is NOT that exciting, I assure you. 

Let me see if I can condense the last 4 months into a semi-concise blog post.  September flew by with tailgates, lots of reading, and tons of rehearsal for fall ballet, during one of which I twisted my ankle (it's still been giving me a bit of trouble, but our athletic trainer is a miracle worker and it's doing much better).  I was cast in Balanchine's Allegro Brillante and Josh Bergasse's new piece entitled The Baker Dances and had a wonderful time doing both.  Though I think I enjoyed the latter a bit more because it was much more contemporary.  After fall ballet weekend in October, life was consumed with final preparation/alumni contacting for IUDM 2010 and Halloween (I went as the golden snitch).  And the last month has been crazy...Nutcracker rehearsals, IUDM weekend, the Deathly Hallows release, and I just returned to school from Thanksgiving break.

IUDM was incredible.  Being on the other side of things as a committee member was one of the most rewarding things I've ever been a part of.  I'm very sad I'm graduating early because I won't be able to be a part of dance marathon again.  My committee was comprised of some of the most incredible people I've ever met and together we helped bring 150-200 alumni back to the marathon, 3 or 4 times more than ever.  It was brilliant.  And when it was all over, we had raised $1,602,713.20 for Riley Hospital for Children.  So amazing.

As far as DH goes, I went to the midnight release with two of my good friends at school and we absolutely loved it.  Yes, there are minor things that weren't quite right, but I could overlook them because the movie was absolutely the most beautiful HP movie ever. I've now seen it three times. And it is still brilliant every time.  Favorite moments for me include the Harry/Hermione dancing scene (which has no romantic subtext at all and all I can think every time is "AHHH they're such good friendssss!"), Rupert's acting (which was fabulous), and Dobby's death (while not "happy", it was perfect and beautiful).  All of the little Ron/Hermione stuff was adorable, too.  Oh and "Just keep talkin' about that little ball of light touchin' your heart..."

Nutcracker performances are this weekend.  I have never been more nervous for anything in my life because I am snow queen for the Sunday matinee show.  I need to figure out how to relax and I need to know that I'm capable of doing this.  AHHH!  Also, this week is stressful because I not only will be in the theater til 10 all week, but I also have a big 7-10 page Chaucer paper due Friday.  UGH!!!!  I feel like I'm drowning...I just want to go back home to my bed and my mom and my kitty and my dogs and wine and cooking and the fireplace.  I currently think the heat is off upstairs in the Deeg...I'm literally shivering. 

I'm sorry I forgot about this and I'm going to try to make an effort to update this more often.  I might even document tech week/Nutcracker this week if I have time!  Love you all.  Happy (almost) December!  And Happy belated Thanksgiving!!!

A Numbered Update

It's been a little while...my apologies for my lack of blog posts over the last two weeks.  I've been a crazy busy hectic mess of a person.  So, here's for an update:

1. We finished learning Serenade, have now run it through twice (once Thursday, once Friday), and I'm fairly sure that I'm going to be able to get through it.  I need a bit more stamina though.  Does anyone know where one can buy it?  Thanks.

2. Along those lines, we start Agnes de Mille's Rodeo on Monday.  The man setting it will be here through Spring Ballet, so it won't be as stressful, hopefully.

3. I have a paper to write that's due Monday at midnight and I am procrastinating like no other.  Blah.

4. My mom's wedding is exactly one week from today!  I am so, so excited to go home for it and to see family that I never get to see.  :)

5. Yesterday, IU held a symposium called "Check Your Label: Elements of Conscious Consumerism," which featured several social entrepreneurs who are doing amazing things with fair trade and the like.  One of these was Blake Mycoskie, CEO and Chief Shoe-Giver of TOMS Shoes.  I've been a fan of TOMS for quite a while, so it was a definite treat to hear him tell the story I've heard for so long and to see his passion for his company in action.  Also, he's super good-looking.  Anyone know where I can find someone like him?  If you do, please let me know.

6. Valentine's Day is approaching.  It makes me want to throw up.  Anyone want to be mine?

7. The Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics start on Friday, and I couldn't be more pumped.

8. I need coffee.  Now.  But the stuff downstairs just doesn't cut it, and it's much too cold and the wind is howling much too loudly for me to get up the energy to walk to the Starbucks in the Union.

9. I saw the IU Opera Theater's production of Lucia di Lammermoor last night.  While it ran a little long (almost 3 hours!), I was incredibly impressed by Angela Kloc's (Lucia) performance.  It was kind of unbelievable, especially considering she's only a first year grad student!

10. I need to see several movies before the Oscars, including The Hurt Locker, Crazy Heart, and It's Complicated.  I also want to see Dear John, despite the not-so-great things I've heard about it (Channing Tatum is a god) and Valentine's Day, but I think I'll wait til after next weekend, when the theater isn't overtaken by lovesick couples (ew).

11. Had my first IUDM Alumni Relations Committee meeting and am so excited about the work that we're going to be doing.  We have a very large task at hand, trying to expand our alumni base and bring them into the foreground of the marathon, but the committee is full of creative and talented people, and I'm confident we have the necessary tools to do this.  It definitely made me feel better about everything.

12. Finally, I still feel like God is preparing me for something awesome right now, but He still hasn't quite revealed to me what that is.  I'm continuing to pray about it.  Those of you who pray, would you mind praying for me to have patience and to not lose my trust in His plan?  That would be fabulous. 

I think that's enough of an update for now.  Not much else to report.  Hope those of you on the east coast are staying out of the cold and snow...we were expecting more snow in Btown, but it looks like we got about 6 or so inches and a lot of wind instead.

Rediscovering the Joy in Dancing

I have rediscovered the joy in my dancing.  Not that I ever really lost it, but sometimes, it gets hard doing the same thing day after day, week after week, especially when we only perform one weekend every 3-4 months.  Performing is what I love.  I know that class is necessary and the daily routine of my life would be all screwy if we didn't have it (not to mention, I'd be soooo out of shape), but the reason why I dance is because of the performance.  This Spring, the ballet department is doing an amazing performance with incredible rep.  We are so lucky, as a collegiate program, to be performing George Balanchine's, Serenade, Rubies, and Agnes de Mille's Rodeo.  I am more than pumped.  Today, we started learning Serenade.  I had the pleasure of performing it my sophomore year in high school and then again (just the first movement) when I was at North Carolina Dance Theatre for the summer program the summer before I stayed for the year.  The music and the costumes and the choreography are literally breathtaking.  Performing it was like a religious experience.  So to get to do it again is amazing.  The rehearsal went pretty well (although for the 47365th time I've been here, I still don't have a lead--which is discouraging, but another conversation entirely).  I am just thrilled to be able to have the opportunity to dance it again.

In other news, I received an email from the director of my IUDM committee, and it made me feel a helluva lot better about things.  Tomorrow, there is a bowling mixer with ALL of the IUDM committees, and it will be the first time I meet everyone.  I'm really excited and anticipating meeting everyone.

On Friday night of this weekend, a bunch of the DGs went over to one of the alumna's houses (she graduated last year and teaches in Bloomington) for dinner and a sleepover.  We made spaghetti, bruschetta, and break-and-bake cookies, drank far too much wine, watched the Hope for Haiti Now Telethon (and GLEE), and had good old-fashioned girl talk.  It was a nice break from the sorority house, but it also kinda made me miss living in my apartment.  I miss cooking and being able to have a queen bed and a bathtub and just being able to live without being surrounded by constant drama.  Please don't get my wrong, I love DG still, but every once in a while it's nice to have a break.

I also saw Up in the Air on Saturday night.  I absolutely loved it.  George Clooney was brilliant as always, and I was really impressed with Anna Kendrick's performance.  Having only been familiar with her in Twilight (gag me) and on an episode of Leno, she did a fabulous job.  Such an interesting story line (funny and heartbreaking and wonderful).  It also re-inspired my desire to travel (albeit with someone and not for my job and not shutting people out of my life).  It absolutely has to happen.

In regards to my previous post, Leah said that, although I used the word "trust" about 20 times, I didn't use the word "faith" once.  This surprised even me.  I guess I don't struggle with my faith.  I have faith that God is always going to come through for me...I have faith in the plan.  It's trusting that faith that I tend to have issues with.

I really hope this week isn't too terribly long.  I'm already ready for the weekend.  Does that make me pathetic or just unmotivated?

Trusting...

I don't admittedly have what you would typically call trust issues.  I mean, things have happened in my life where I should, and, yes, I occasionally do...Hell, I haven't exactly had a real relationship, so maybe I will feel differently when I start dating someone for real, but for right now, I don't have trouble trusting people.  Okay, I don't exactly share my deepest, darkest secrets or profoundly tragic things that have happened to me with just anyone.  Of course, I have to earn their trust and they, mine.  What I mean to say is this post is not about trusting people.  This is about trusting.  Period.

I recently interviewed for a dance marathon committee that I've been wanting to be on since probably hour 3 of November's IUDM.  The Morale committee to be exact.  At the marathon and since, I felt as if I had been called to it.  I hadn't been able to stop thinking about the line dance and those incredible people in tie-dye for three months straight.  Everyone to whom I told my wish to be on Morale encouraged me, gave me advice for the interview, and said that they thought I'd be perfect for it.  Well, I interviewed (it went well) and found out the results on Thursday.  I am now a member of the Alumni Relations committee (a theme in my life now as I am the Director of A.R. for DG).  I was excited on the phone talking to my director, but as soon as I got off, I broke down.  It isn't that I'm ungrateful or not thrilled to be joining the IUDM family...that is NOT it.  At all.  It's that I threw myself so wholeheartedly into it (the interview, the wanting it, etc.) and then didn't get it.

I shouldn't be surprised, honestly.  Things in my life tend to go this way.  With ballet.  With boys.  With other things, in general.  I get my hopes up or my heart set on something and it doesn't happen.  People say you shouldn't have any expectations because then you'll never be disappointed.  I suppose they're right.  If you don't expect anything or expect the worst, then you won't get hurt when your expectations aren't met and you will be surprised when they're surpassed.  But my heart doesn't work like that.  As you know, I am incredibly emotional and passionate.  I throw myself into things 200%.  So I have expectations and hopes and I get my heart set.  And I am often disappointed.

When God closes a door, it is said that he opens a window.  I truly believe that everything happens for a reason.  There is a reason that I wasn't chosen for the Morale committee, but was placed on Alumni Relations instead.  I just don't know that yet.  And right now, I'm still too bummed to even speculate as to what that reason may be.  I'm sure that once I have my first meeting and meet everyone, I'll feel differently than I do now.  I'm so thrilled to be a part of IUDM at all, as it is truly one of the most incredible organizations I've ever had the opportunity of working with.  I know that I have been placed in this position for a reason unbeknownst to me, and I just have to trust that God has a plan.  Something wonderful must be around the corner.  There has to be.  I have trouble trusting that everything will work itself out.  That God always has a plan.  He does.  He knows how many hairs we have on our head, our desires before we do.  He knows everything that's on my heart.  He will not disappoint me.  I know this.  It's the believing part I struggle with.