BEDA Onze...A Quick and Early Post

Um how good do those Minnie Mouse cupcakes look?

I'm planning on getting a lot of work on my independent study class done (yeah...that plan alllllways works out...), so I'm gonna write this pretty quickly so I can get to the gym, get home, shower, and begin reading a billion pages of the New Testament (which I wouldn't normally complain about, but this class has SO. MUCH. BUSYWORK.  And I hate teaching myself).  Dear Ellen, Stop complaining. Now. Thanks.

Anywho, both Kaitlyn (on her blog) and Kristina (in her Monday video on fiveawesomegirls) said they want to visit all 50 states before they die.  I'd like to fulfill that goal as well.  I thought I, too, would count up how close I am to getting there.  Turns out, I'm not as close as I thought I was:


visited 27 states (54%)
Create your own visited map of The United States

28 is the grand total...so I still have 22 to go.  I guess my family and I haven't spent any time in the Northeast (aside from New York and Jersey), and haven't done much traveling out west, save for Arizona, Colorado, and California.  I have lived in quite a few places though.  Born in Illinois, moved to Indiana when I was 4, went to high school in Virginia, lived a year in North Carolina, a year in Oklahoma, and currently attending school back in my native Hoosierland (btw, I do not consider myself an Illinois native, as I don't remember anything about when I lived there).  I have been to Alaska, which is pretty cool.  Along with Kaitlyn, I would just love to visit all seven continents.  Unfortunately, I've still got six to go, for, as you know, I've got the biggest travel bug EVERRRR.

I guess I'll cry SPOILER ALERT, though I'm not giving much away...last night I watched Make It or Break It, and the only thought I have is WTF?  Payson kind of looks like she's falling in love with Sasha, Lauren is seriously the most jealous/insecure/awful teen girl character I've ever seen on a television show, and Ellen Biels, national committee chair, is THE biggest bitch EVER.  I was literally about to throw something at my computer screen last night...she makes me sick...discipline is important, but it does not make a great athlete or dancer.  Passion and heart and emotion and drive make greatness.  This woman is trying to turn these gymnasts into robots, all the while trying to form a gymnastics dictatorship by ousting anyone who opposes her.  jgkdlshgkdlsghkdl I hope they kick her the hell out of there soon.  My anger level is increasing by the episode.

Ok, sorry. Rant over.  The SYTYCD performance finale is on tonight!  I can't wait. I think Kent is going to win, but my vote is for Robert.  But it's probably going to be Robert 3rd, Lauren the runner-up, and Kent the winner.  And now I'll leave you all.  Much love, me.

Currently stuck in my head: "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri. Finally, a less embarrassing admission. That song is hauntingly sad and raw and just gjkdlghds.  So gorgeous.  The dance Kathryn and Billy did on SYTYCD to it was breathtaking.  WATCH!

BEDA Dix...A Ballet-Centric Post

I was going to write a post, at Kelsi's suggestion, about Terminus, as the ball was 2 years ago today (really?! that long ago?), but, as I'm not in the mood for the depression and longing nostalgia often instills in me, I'm going to merely say that that was an amazing weekend and an amazing night and I hope I can go to LeakyCon next summer to have yet another epicly amazing time.

Now for the actual post...if you're not interested in reading a post almost entirely about ballet, then you should probably just stop reading right now because I'm having a rather uninspired BEDA night, and the only thing I can think to do is respond to this blog post by Pointe Magazine.

Essentially, Pointe Mag's post is about the end of the "baby ballerina," the Gelseys and the Marias who became principals at 15 and a half.  Basically, the article highlights the fact that most ballet companies have instituted trainee, apprentice, and second company programs for dancers aged 17-early 20s to groom dancers for life as professional company members.  It also touches on the recent spike of dancers opting to go the college route in ballet or dance major programs at universities around the country.  Both of these ideas up the age that dancers are getting actually-can-pay-the-bills kind of jobs in ballet companies.

I agree that the average age of fully contracted company members seems to have gotten higher over the last several years (let's say ten for argument's sake).  However, I do not think this is because companies are realizing that more mature dancers are more valuable than younger ones (by the way, I think that more mature dancers look just that...more mature and more developed as dancers on stage...basically, I think it's a great thing).  I think that companies are hijacking the current system and, as the post stated and taking dancers who are perfectly capable of being contract-holding company members and sticking them in unpaid, overworked positions.  The post then defends this move as "a smart way to keep American ballet companies afloat."  While I understand the level of financial pressure the ballet world is under (a lot of companies have had to cut dancer after dancer, get rid of live music, and even settle for less glamorous rep), I think it is unfair to take advantage of the fact that there are far more young dancers today than there were 20 years ago.  Dance is just more readily available nowadays.  Every town has a local dolly-dinkle studio, nearly every company has its own school, and there are more summer intensive programs with higher attendance rates than EVER (I saw that firsthand this summer).  That being said, there is a tremendous amount of talent out there, and there are dancers (and parents) willing to sacrifice money in order to have a chance to train (sometimes with a small stipend, sometimes unpaid, and even sometimes with an added tuition cost) as a trainee, apprentice, or second company member with a professional company.

I have experience with this whole unpaid business.  After all, I spent a year as an unpaid apprentice with one company and a year as a stipend recipient (which was not enough to live on) with another.  While both programs were great in general, I had issues with each.  My year with the first was my first year out of high school.  I opted for the unpaid "apprenticeship" over a fairly large scholarship at University of Cincinnati's College Conservatory of Music because, at that point, college was just not on my agenda.  While I really loved my time at my first company, and I improved immensely there (and probably wouldn't be the dancer I am today without it), the most frustrating thing about the program was the fact that as apprentices (and even some of the tuition-paying trainees), we WERE the corps de ballet.  This company is a rather smallish company, so it is unranked (they don't have the distinction between principal, soloist, corps), and most of the company members usually get to perform some sort of soloist role.  All of the apprentices were ball guests in Cinderella, Snow and Flowers in Nutcracker, and were even corps backup in one  of the company's contemporary performances.  They even took us on tour!  Now, at the time, I'll admit, I thought this was awesome.  I was getting cast well and being given all these amazing opportunities.  But now, looking back on it, they were using us.  We should have been getting paid.  We should have been getting time off like the rest of the company (instead, they were overworking us to the bone...a lot of girls got seriously injured that year).  But we weren't.  We were just slave labor so the company could save a buck.  

Now, I'm not saying apprentice and trainee programs are all bad.  After all, I wouldn't have stuck my two years of hardly any pay out if I didn't think they were beneficial at all.  However, I am slightly frustrated at the fact that many of my recently graduated friends from my major at IU were offered the same kinds of positions I was offered at 18.  Which worries me because when I graduate in May at age 23, I want to be offered a true, honest to goodness paid position with a company.  Will I be offered one or will companies, out of concern for their futures and finances, look at me like another 18-year-old?  This is pretty much my last shot...if I don't receive a paid position offer upon graduation, my parents are basically cutting me off, and I'm going to have to look into other options of dancing (which I suppose will be ok if I'm supposed to be doing that, but I'm not ready to throw in the towel just yet).  The thing is, as long as dancers (and particularly parents of dancers) keep indulging these companies and giving them dancers to overwork for free, it will continue.  I have no suggestions as to how companies are supposed to recover the revenue they've lost because of the recession, lower attendance, and decreased donorship, but I would plead with companies to treat all of their dancers with respect, dignity, and fairness.  Making young pre-professionals pay tuition with the promise of being looked at for the company, all the while overworking them and letting them go after the end of the season is simply unjust.  

I don't know if any of this makes sense as an argument or not, but I guess it's just my way of voicing frustration with the widely known fact that there. are. no. jobs.  Until the time comes for auditions, though, I'm going to attempt to put all worrying aside, trust in the Lord's plan for me, and just try to take it one day at a time.  After all, school hasn't even started yet, and there's still more than two weeks left to my summer.  Hopefully tomorrow's post will be a little less ballet-heavy.  I apologize for the length.  Hope all's well with ya'll.  Love, me.

Currently stuck in my head: "Teenage Dream" by the seemingly ubiquitous Katy Perry.

BEDA Neuf...Laundromats are Depressing

So I just started The Hunger Games...FINALLY...yesterday, and am totally loving it...so much, in fact, that I am going to rush through this blog post in order to get back to reading.  Is that ok with you? No? Too bad...

The only interesting things that I did today were venture to the laundromat and the gym.  I haven't been to a laundromat very many times in my life, as I have been fortunate enough to always live somewhere with a washer and dryer.  However, the few times I have had to brave that place, I haven't had very good experiences.  And this time was no different.  The only reason I even had to go was because I had to wash both my brother's and my comforters, so that they wouldn't be totally gross before school starts, and neither fit in our washer at home.  Upon walking in, I just got really depressed.  Seriously...that place is so desolate.  It's hot because there's no air conditioning, the people who work there don't look like they like their jobs very much, and the people who frequent the joint don't look happy either.  It was a pretty miserable hour that I spent there, but I had Suzanne Collins to keep me busy so it was ok.

And then I went to the gym, ran on the elliptical for half an hour and lifted a bit.  I did this while listening to All Caps, the HSM3 soundtrack, and MIKA on shuffle.  Yeah...

And now I'm gonna go read some more.  Sorry for the lame post.  I promise I'll do better tomorrow.  Blog topic suggestions in the comments, pretty please with sugar on top?  Thanks in advance.  Love, me

Currently stuck in my head: "Celebrate You" by Corbin Bleu...I miss the Disney World Celebrate: A Street Parade. I'm beginning to regret this whole reveal-what-song-i-can't-get-out-of-my-head thing, as it seems to have been pretty embarrassing as of late.  But seriously, that song is hilariously amazing.

BEDA Huit...Packing = Unfun

The above image has nothing to do with this post, but I saw it on tumblr, and it's basically the greatest image of the FRIENDS cast ever.  Moving on...

The seemingly never-ending chore of cleaning out my closet and bookshelves and dresser drawers and general rest of my room has begun in preparation of leaving for school in less than 3 weeks. (I'm super pumped by the way...can't wait for Welcome Week and seeing friends and IUBT freshman party and everything else that comes along with the first few weeks of a new fall semester!!)

Anyway...today was mostly spent with my mom trying on clothes, throwing out/putting in the giveaway pile ones that I no longer wear/don't fit, going through countless boxes of crap (and throwing out most of what said boxes contained), and generally taking my mess of a room and trying to condense it back down to something manageable to take down to school and move into my sorority house double room.  It was exhausting and tedious, to say the least.  Luckily, my ENORMOUS fat cat, aptly named Big Cat, kept me company on my bed, while my mom and I sifted through the catastrophic disaster.

We succeeded and are nearly finished with the reorganization process.  Now, all that remains for me to do before school is buy new clothes, so I have something to wear in Bloomington...as I threw out a TON of clothes today (I think I still had a shirt in there that I bought at Abercrombie when I was 15...and I haven't set foot in that store since then). 

This evening, my mom, step-dad, and I went over to my grandma's house for dinner, as my uncle was in town to visit/attend his high school reunion.  We had hamburgers, Indiana sweet corn-on-the-cob, potato salad, and carrot cake...it was like a delicious picnic.  Yum.

Other than that, I haven't much else to report.  Glad ya'll liked my guilty pleasures yesterday.  I am such a 13-year-old girl at heart.  I've now made it through a week of BEDA...starting to weary of it, but determined not to quit.  Keep me motivated with comments, loves.  Night, night.  Love, me

Currently stuck in my head: "Breathless" by The Corrs.  It came up on shuffle, while cleaning out my room.  Don't judge my early 2000s taste in music...or the fact that I actually imported In Blue into my iTunes.

BEDA Sept...Guilty Pleasures

Instead of another boring, rambly, angsty post, I think I'm going to list my guilty pleasures.  You know, those things that we all love that we'd probably rather not admit to anyone.

1. Driving my car on summer days, windows and sunroof open, blaring some obnoxious, overplayed summer anthem on the radio.  And, of course, singing and dancing along to it.  And hoping the drivers of other cars don't think I'm a serious lunatic.

2. ABC Family original series.  Don't hate me.  Currently, I won't miss an episode of Make it or Break it or Pretty Little Liars.  When it's on (new episodes starting soon, hopefully) GREEK (I know, I know...I'm a sorority girl who watches a show about sorority girls...it's incredibly exaggerated and Greek life really isn't like that, but there are aspects of truth there and I think it's hilarious.  The annoying bits of the show are like the things that annoy me about my own sorority, so it makes me giggle).  I used to be an avid fan of both Wildfire and Kyle XY, before they were both canceled, that is.  I know...so embarrassing.

3. Old Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen movies.  It Takes Two, Passport to Paris, Billboard Dad, etc., etc.  Please don't judge.

4. The O.C. and Gossip Girl...apparently I like teen dramas about rich kids...whatever... 

5. The Food Network. Giada, Ina, and Paula are my favorites.

6. This goes along with the whole Make it or Break it thing, but anything having to do with gymnastics or figure skating.  I did gymnastics for a total of one year when I was six and have never figure skated, but I'm obsessed.  No clue why.

7. Peanut butter. I used to carry a jar around in my purse everywhere I went.

8. Splenda...I know...so bad for you.  But so good.  And no calories.

9. Center Stage.  Yes, that ridiculously popular movie about a bunch of kids who go to the American Ballet Academy.  It is horrendously exaggerated, not really based on any facts, and totally unrealistic.  But it is also the movie that I've probably seen more than any other (even any of the HP films), and I could easily quote the whole thing for you.  And the one-liners in it.  "So the elephant goes 'ow, ow' and the mouse goes 'take it all, bitch." "I am the best goddamn dancer in the American Ballet Academy. Who the hell are you? NOBODY." "What a prick." "He was perfectly nice about it." "Being nice when you're saying something pricky is even prickier." "Careful with that one. You break it, you bought it." "Oh, please...she's a heartbeat away from tatooing your name on her ass." And the always cliche "Whatever you feel...just dance it."  Plus, the soundtrack...it's ridiculous and amazing.  By the way, the whole thing is on youtube in parts if you've never seen it.  I feel like everyone needs to watch.

10. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.  I am a pretty healthy eater.  I try to eat as many unprocessed things as I can.  But there is just something amazing about that blue box and that neon-colored powdered cheese.  So yummy.

11. Bold red wines (big cabernets, smooth merlots, and malbecs). I'm not apologizing for this one.

12. The World Cup.  Not really apologizing for this one either.  The soccer boys.  And the internationality of it all.  Amazing.

13. Josh Groban.  Yeah...

14. Celine Dion.  I don't even know...

15. Looking through old photo albums and scrapbooks.  I do this more than I would care to admit.  I'm not sure why.  It's kind of a sad happiness it gives me...nostalgia is weird.

16. 1970s folk music a la Dan Fogelberg and Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young.  Blame my mother.  My favorite Fogelberg song is this.  Wonder why, haha.

17. Days where I don't have to get out of my pajamas.  Always a welcome respite.

18. Decoupaging and knitting.  I haven't done either in a while, but there is something calming about old ladyish arts and crafts.

19. Chik-fil-A.  If you've never had it, you're missing out.

20. High School Musical. In all its forms. I'm not even going to try to justify that one.

That's enough for right now.  Hope ya'll enjoyed that.  Tell me your guilty pleasures in the comments...please!!!  Also, one more thought...I'm considering vlogging again.  Your thoughts?

Currently stuck in my head: "We're Dancing" by PYT...because I just watched, like, five Center Stage youtube videos utilizing the final song from the movie.  *headdesk*

BEDA Six...On Freaking Out

Sometimes I have those days where I cannot stop thinking.  Today was one of those days.

This wasn't productive thinking either...this was freak-yourself-out-to-the-point-of-hyperventilation kind of thinking.  You see, I haven't really allowed myself to think about the fact that I'm a) going to be a senior in college and b) need to get a job next year til today, when I had too much time alone with just my thoughts.  And I can safely say that I'm officially freaking out.

I'm terrified.  Terrified that I'm not good enough.  That I won't be cast well this year at IUBT and therefore, won't have decent performance footage when I go to make my video.  Terrified that my family won't be able to pay the travel expenses necessary to send me all over the country to audition.  Terrified that any number of things could go wrong.

I wish I had someone here at home (besides my mother, that is...I mean, she's great, but I need my friends) who could pick me up and take me away from my thoughts.  I mean, I can call any number of people, but I need the physical contact right now.  I'm being swallowed by nagging thoughts about how I need to lose six pounds, being eaten by knots in my stomach.

And this is NOT good.  School hasn't even started yet.  Auditions don't start til January.  So why can't I get a break from my overly analytical brain?  jfkdlsghkdslghdklsg

Sorry for the gjdlkghskdlg post today...just in a bit of a funk right now and not sure how to deal with it, that's all.

Song currently stuck in my head: "The Cave" by Mumford & Sons.  (They're lovely...you should check them out!)

BEDA Cinq...Ellen's Got the Travel Bug

I miss Disney World.

Week one of BEDA is almost done (yay!).  Today was, again, fairly uneventful.  Most of the day was spent trying to summon the motivation to work on my independent study.  Yeah...that never really came.  I mean, I did make some progress, but it's slow-going, to say the very least.

I miss my friends.  From all aspects of my life.  I wish I had the money to just up and fly somewhere to visit them.  Hell, I wish I had the money to up and fly ANYWHERE.  I've been REALLY, REALLY, REALLY restless lately, thinking about all the world traveling I have yet to do (which is to say ANY world traveling).  The only time I've been out of the country was for a less-than-24-hour hotel stay in Vancouver, B.C., the port of departure for my family's 2005 Alaskan cruise.  (Sidenote: can we talk about how skinny I was then? I know, I know, I was 17, but still...ugh!)  Yes, it was amazing, but that's beside the point.  Currently, I'm just experiencing an intense itch to getthehellouttadodge.  And, seeing as as the funds are running low, we still have a year's worth of college tuition to pay, the (EXPENSIVE) dance audition season is looming on the horizon, and I lack a wealthy and generous boyfriend, I don't think my travel bug is going to be cured in the near future.  Depressing.

Trust me, if your house backed up to a cornfield, you'd probably be feeling the same way as I do right now.  (Don't mistake, though, being home is nice...just...boring).

I went on a long walk this evening and sprinted home (I'm not usually a runner, but I was in the mood for a brief jog).  Then I did abs while watching the last ten minutes of SYTYCD (very pleased with the verdict of the Final Three--Kent, Lauren, and Robert).  Felt good to do abs as it's probably been over a week since I did anything resembling a sit-up...whoops!

In other news, have you ever been scrolling through your Facebook news feed and discover a last name you didn't recognize, only to click on that person to realize you missed the fact that they got married three weeks ago?  Yeah...that happened today.  My dear friend, Rachael, from my arts high school told me about her engagement months ago, and I followed all the photo updates and everything, but somehow I missed that she actually got married, went on her honeymoon, and is now home with her new husband enjoying married life.  I am so very happy for her.  I just can't believe I didn't know!!

Thus, I bid you all good night.  If anyone has a few thousand bucks lying around, let me know...I'd be happy to use it to buy a plane ticket to Europe.  Kthxbai.

P.S. Something I forgot to mention in my post yesterday was the other thing that drives me nuts about SYTYCD, particular this current season...the judges' blatant and obnoxious favoritism.  It is so obvious this season.  And they've pretty much made up the rules as they go along.  RAWR.

P.P.S. I probably should mention Emma Watson's new haircut, as the fandom seems to be completely up in arms.  Oh my God, give me a break.  She cut her hair.  That's it.  It was bound to happen sometime.  I know, I know, it will be kind of weird to see her doing all her press junkety stuff without her Hermione hair come fall, but I think she looks gorgeous.  Yeah, her color could stand to be redone, but who cares?  She's beautiful and she wanted to do it and she did.  End of story.  Can we move on now?  Thanks.  /done

Currently stuck in my head: Summer of '09 by ALL CAPS.  Been listening to Bmin/E far, far too much lately.