Mississin' Mississippi

Today was the first day back at school after spring break, as well as the first day of tech week for spring ballet...we're performing on Friday (yikes!).  It was a bit rough getting out of bed this morning and getting back to the grind, but I am so unbelievably happy right now.

Last week, I went down to Biloxi, Mississippi with a group on campus called Y'ALL (Youth Advocating Leadership and Learning).  There were approximately 60 of us and we skipped the whole "Frat Lauderdale" thing in favor of staying in a church on bunk beds and working on several different housing projects in and around Biloxi.  I could not be more thrilled with how the week went.  I'd been wanting to do an alternative spring break for quite some time, and I am SO happy that I decided to do it. 

Breakdown of the week:
We left on a charter bus from Bloomington at 2 am Saturday night/Sunday morning.  It was a bit of a long trip, but at least we left in the middle of the night so I slept a lot of the way, though sleeping on charter buses is not the easiest feet, especially when you're 5'9".  When we arrived Sunday afternoon to Biloxi Christian Church, where we stayed, most of us dropped our stuff in our new living quarters and promptly went outside to enjoy the gorgeous coastal sunshine and throw a frisbee around.  I played what I think was my first game of Ultimate (by the way, I'm TERRIBLEEE).  We also played the largest, most epic game of Catch Phrase I've ever seen.  So much fun :)

 
We were all split up into groups of about 7 or 8, each with a group leader.  I fell in love with my group because everyone was just awesome.  Anyhow, our group was assigned to Gautier, MS on Monday, where we basically worked on picking up litter.  This didn't thrill us too much at the beginning because, after all, it was something we could have been doing in Bloomington...we didn't have to ride a bus for 13 hours to do it, but as the day went on, my group bonded more and more and we realized how poverty-stricken and desperate the city of Gautier is.  They simply don't have the means to clean up all the trash there is and rely on volunteers like us to do the honors.  Perhaps not the most glamorous or fulfilling day of the trip, but ok nonetheless.  We returned to camp and had dinner and ended the night with a bonfire, s'mores, and ghost stories.  Straight up summer camp.  Fabulous.

Tuesday, my group stayed at camp and worked on clearing tons of brush and ripping siding off one of the bunkhouses.  The camp was created and is maintained by volunteers, so it is up to groups like us to do this kind of work.  Tearing siding is HARD work.  My back was soooo beyond sore the next day, but it was so much fun.  It was especially awesome to see our faculty advisor, Conner, tear absolutely gigantic pieces of siding off the bunk house by himself with no help from anyone else.  Beast.  That evening was spent playing never-ending games of spoons and Apples to Apples.
Wednesday was probably my favorite day of the trip.  We had a half day of work and went to what is called the Project Houses.  We did a ton of interior painting and sanding.  Then, we got picked up and taken back to Gautier, where all 60 of us IU kids were served up a good old fashioned Mississippi Shrimp Boil.  One word: AH-MAAY-ZING.  Best jambalaya I've ever had.  Literally.  Then, we took a tour of Biloxi, which is still in need of so much help.  It was definitely an eerie sight to see pylons where a bridge used to be (in some places there are still pieces of road in the water) and driveways and walkways that led to nowhere.  It definitely put everything in perspective.  A woman spoke to us about her Katrina experience, and it was just heartwrenching.  She and her husband rebuilt their house just feet from where their old one was essentially blown away.  Imagine losing everything.  That's what happened to almost everyone in Biloxi.  People don't realize this, but Katrina hit New Orleans at a Category 1, but Biloxi at a Category 5.  The only reason N.O. got so much more press was because the levees broke.  Now, don't get me wrong, that was horrific and terrible and awful, but people don't understand that Katrina basically killed the city of Biloxi.  There is so much rebuilding still left to do it's unreal.  But enough with the depressing stuff.  We topped off the day with a visit to the beach, and, while it wasn't as warm as we'd have liked it to be, it was still great to be able to stick our feet in the Gulf. 

Thursday, we went back to the Project Houses and did A LOT of exterior painting.  I was up on 18 foot scaffolding (terrifying, btw) painting window sills and conquering fears.  It was pretty fabulous.  We were such efficient workers that we had about a half hour to kill before we got picked back up.  We then had dinner, some last minute down time, cleaning, a final meeting, and then got on the bus around 9 and headed back to Btown.  We arrived around lunch time Friday morning and I spent the remainder of the weekend hanging out at one of my new friend's houses with  a couple other people I met on the trip.

Everyone on the trip was so unbelievably wonderful.  I can't even tell you in words how awesome it was to have a break from the normal college greek life grind.  I feel really rested and definitely ready to tackle the rest of tech week.  I know God is doing something truly great in my life right now, and I honestly cannot wait to find out where He takes me next.  I'm so grateful for Y'ALL and all who went on the trip and for the welcoming people of Mississippi, without whom, we wouldn't have had a place to stay (or as many funny stories as we did). 

If you are even considering an alternative spring break, DO IT!  Seriously, you won't regret it.  I'm hoping I'll be able to do the Y'ALL summer trip, but it all depends on my summer school schedule.  Crossin' my fingers though!  Hope your springs are off to a lovely start.  I'm so excited to perform this weekend.  Serenade, here we go!!

Countdown to Spring Break

Over the last two weeks, it has gone to beyond freezing to nearly 50 degrees...today I woke up and the sun was out :) That's about the only really good news I have to report.  The last couple of weeks have been a blur of lack of rehearsal for Serenade (the most we've had was an hour and a half on Tuesday), nearly passing out in my voice lesson this past week (yes, really), studying my ass off for midterms (thank God they're over), and occasionally going out in between.  Soooo ready for spring break.

I'm currently praying for peace and clarity and to stop worrying and over-analyzing.  I don't care to go into the details, but I struggle all the time with trying to analyze and re-analyze all the time and blaming myself when things don't work out.  I fault myself all. the. time.  And it's stupid and unnecessary, but I do it, and I don't know how to stop.  I think it is because I grew up in ballet--constantly in front of a mirror, being told what's wrong, what to correct, nutrition seminar after nutrition seminar, and always being told you're not good enough.  I need to stop blaming myself or thinking that it's something I did wrong...because I know it's not...but my brain refuses to acknowledge that.  Anyway, enough depressingness...

This year for spring break, I'll be taking a bus down to Biloxi, Mississippi with a campus organization called Y'ALL (Youth Advocating Leadership and Learning) to build houses and reach out to the still ravaged gulf coast.  I originally wanted to go with Habitat, but by the time I got my stuff together, all their trips were filled up.  I've been dying to go on an Alternative Spring Break since I found out what they were a few years ago.  Now, I'll admit that going to Mississippi isn't as cool as going to some place like Costa Rica or Africa (though I'm hoping to get there eventually), but I'm so pumped.  I was given a desire to serve, and I couldn't be more excited.  The only scary thing is that I know absolutely NO ONE.  Not a soul.  I know it will be great, but the uneasiness of not even having one single familiar face with you is a bit nerve-wracking.  But I'm pumped.  We leave Sunday the 14th.

I want to go shopping.  I haven't been hardcore shopping since Christmas break, and I feel like it's definitely time for a day at Nordstrom and Bloomingdale's with good friends and a credit card.  Hello, compulsive retail therapy.

In order to fill the void that has been left in my heart since the Olympics ended (beyond depressed that Bob Costas no longer dominates my television), I've been watching too much trashy television.  My friend Becca got me hooked on The Real Housewives (Orange County and NYC), and I'm ashamed to say I'm a little addicted.  These women are ridiculous and act like they're stuck in high school.  Hilarious.  I'm also obsessed with GREEK and Make It or Break It.  I know, right?  But seriously, GREEK is soooo entertaining and it's hilarious to see aspects of my school's greek system, while exaggerated, played out on TV.  And Make It or Break It is kind of like art-imitating-life for me.  I mean, I know I'm not headed for London 2012 (it can't come soon enough by the way), but the things the gymnasts go through are very similar to what I've experienced as a dancer--pressure to be perfect, lack of friends outside the studio/gym, etc.  I mean, of course it's horribly melodramatic and way overdone, but I love it nonetheless.  Also, I'm so glad The Bachelor is over so I can have my Monday night back.  Dear Jake, I'm pretty sure you picked Vienna for lust, but whatever.  You'll regret it in about a year when she's still acting like she's 20 and you're almost in your mid-30s.  Love, Ellen

That's enough for now...hopefully I'll be updating this thing more regularly...it's been a while, but I've been swamped. 

Starting to come together

So, I promised ya'll a fully detailed review of the wedding...here it goes...

I arrived home on Friday (the 12th) and went straight to the church for the rehearsal, which went off basically without a hitch (save for me trying to pretend it was my wedding and obsessing over every detail--oops!).  Said hi to my aunt and uncle, who I never get to see so that was exciting.  Then, we went back home for pizza, the closest thing to a rehearsal dinner a 2nd wedding will get.  The evening was concluded by my mom and I going to spend the night at my grandma's house, staying up to watch the Olympic opening ceremonies (I've been obsessed with Vancouver for the last week and a half, by the way), and then heading to bed. 

In the morning, Mom and I got up, went to my favorite boutique in town to have my dress steamed at the last minute (my mom used to work there), and then went to our hair salon to have our hair done.  It was a girly morning and I loved every minute of it.  Plus, my mom gave me a card that was seriously the sweetest thing I've ever read and reduced me to tears at 11 am...I should've known I'd be in trouble right then (luckily, there is such a thing as waterproof mascara).

And then we headed to the church, doing all the standard getting ready, taking pictures stuff (without seeing the groom, of course) and then it was time.  I was an absolute wreck throughout most of the ceremony.  When my mom walked down the aisle and I caught sight of Dave's face and hers, I lost it completely.  I bawled when my brother read from 1 Corinthians and when they exchanged vows.  Pretty sure I cried more than my mom.  It was just so emotional for me, for many reasons which are far too personal for a blog post, but all I can say is I'd never seen my mom look that beautiful or that happy.  It was truly spectacular. 

The reception was an absolute blast!!  My dad's brother's family was there, as was his step-sister's family.  Each has 3 kids and they are my brother's and my favorites and we rarely get to see each other so it was just great that they could be there.  If there's anything I've learned, it's that family is not just who you're related to by blood...it's who you love.  The power of love is always so potent at weddings.  I need to remember it all the time. 

Highlights/Results of the open bar:
1. The full-on dance-off between my cousin Grace (modern dancer), my cousin Iris (former Irish Step Dancer), and myself (obviously the ballerina).  It was epic.
2. When my now step-brother's friend asked me to dance (nothing ever going to happen there, trust me) and I said yes...hahahah
3. My brother wouldn't dance with me, so I asked his dweebtastic friend Drew to dance.  It was as awkward as it sounds lol.
4. My mom and Dave's first dance...it was gorgeous.
5. Just looking at my mom's smile.  Pretty sure it's never been that big or that beautiful before.

The night concluded at my cousins' house in drunken stupor.  Hadn't laughed that hard in a while and I think we finished 4 pizzas.  My uncle was a hot mess and it was the funniest thing ever.

The next morning, I sent my mom off on her honeymoon cruise (JEALOUS) and returned to school, unfortunately Valentineless, but it was ok.  I had experienced so much love during that weekend that I didn't care.  Can you believe it?  Perpetually single, cynical me didn't care that I didn't have a Valentine.  It was liberating and awesome.  I just felt like I had experienced this insane high all weekend and I'm still so happy.  It was amazing and I'm so glad I got to share it with my family.

Since then, I've been swamped by school, underwhelmed by ballet (haven't gotten to do a whole lot of rehearsal and wasn't cast in 2 of the 3 ballets for spring show, but it's ok), and focusing on eliminating negative energy from my life and still trying to let go because it is Lent after all. 

Spring Break is in a little over 2 weeks and I'm going to Biloxi to build houses and I couldn't be more excited.  I don't know anyone going, so I'm looking forward to getting to know some new people and hopefully making some new friends. 

On one last note, my friends are awesome.  Like, seriously.  Amazing.  I don't deserve them...they put up with so much of my melodrama and have the odd knack to calm/talk me down.  My neuroses is sometimes not easy to deal with, and they seem not to care.  So grateful.  Also, my mom is an incredible woman.  She deserves every bit of the happiness she is experiencing right now.  So happy for her.  And for our family.  Life is good right now, I think.  There are some things I'm overthinking, but I'm trying not to let them get to me.  The Lord says "Do not worry about anything" so I'm going to continue to attempt to let go of my fear and anxiety.  Your prayers are still needed.

Just remembered Mom is coming this weekend for DG mom's weekend!!  Pumped :)  Think that's it for now.  Almost Fridayyy!

Love deeply.

The wedding was amazing.  Period.  End of story.

I'll do a full recap soon, but I just wanted to say that it truly was incredible.  I am so unbelievably happy for my mom and my new step-dad and everything is wonderful and looking up I think.

Late Night. Can't Sleep.

So...I hate to be emo and angsty and make myself sound like some sort of desperate girl, but this is what I'm feeling right now:

I'm so ready to be in love.  My heart is open and my arms are wide.  I have so much love to give, but haven't found anyone ready to receive it.  I know, I know, I know (!) patience...stop worrying..."your time will come"...blah blah blah.  But right now, I'm lonely.  And my mom is getting married on Saturday (which is probably the single greatest thing to happen to our family in the last 15 years) and I just want that.  At the risk of sounding like a bad pop song, I want someone to want me.  And I'm tired of waiting.  I'm frustrated and sick of this. 

Ok, I'm sorry for being so annoying.  And I'll probably delete this post in a few days because it'll probably sound terribly pathetic to me tomorrow morning, but it's late and and cold and I'm tired and I'd pretty much give anything to be snuggling next to someone who loves me right now. 

I'm done now.  Bye.

WHO DAT.

Congratulations to the New Orleans Saints on their amazing Super Bowl win over the Indianapolis Colts!!!

Ok, so I'm a Bears fan.  Yes, a Chicago Bears fan.  Yes, I live in Indiana.  No, I don't like the Colts.  I have been living too close to Indy for a year and a half now.  No disrespect, but Colts fans are obnoxious...or at least they were when I was at Nick's tonight with some DGs.  So proud of the Saints and Drew Brees (oh, and that epic touchdown by Tracy Porter--AN IU GRAD--who pretty much secured the win).

Ok, this post was really just an excuse to post the above adorableeee picture of Drew Brees and his son (OMG!).

And to gush about my favorite commercial...nice work, Google.

A Numbered Update

It's been a little while...my apologies for my lack of blog posts over the last two weeks.  I've been a crazy busy hectic mess of a person.  So, here's for an update:

1. We finished learning Serenade, have now run it through twice (once Thursday, once Friday), and I'm fairly sure that I'm going to be able to get through it.  I need a bit more stamina though.  Does anyone know where one can buy it?  Thanks.

2. Along those lines, we start Agnes de Mille's Rodeo on Monday.  The man setting it will be here through Spring Ballet, so it won't be as stressful, hopefully.

3. I have a paper to write that's due Monday at midnight and I am procrastinating like no other.  Blah.

4. My mom's wedding is exactly one week from today!  I am so, so excited to go home for it and to see family that I never get to see.  :)

5. Yesterday, IU held a symposium called "Check Your Label: Elements of Conscious Consumerism," which featured several social entrepreneurs who are doing amazing things with fair trade and the like.  One of these was Blake Mycoskie, CEO and Chief Shoe-Giver of TOMS Shoes.  I've been a fan of TOMS for quite a while, so it was a definite treat to hear him tell the story I've heard for so long and to see his passion for his company in action.  Also, he's super good-looking.  Anyone know where I can find someone like him?  If you do, please let me know.

6. Valentine's Day is approaching.  It makes me want to throw up.  Anyone want to be mine?

7. The Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics start on Friday, and I couldn't be more pumped.

8. I need coffee.  Now.  But the stuff downstairs just doesn't cut it, and it's much too cold and the wind is howling much too loudly for me to get up the energy to walk to the Starbucks in the Union.

9. I saw the IU Opera Theater's production of Lucia di Lammermoor last night.  While it ran a little long (almost 3 hours!), I was incredibly impressed by Angela Kloc's (Lucia) performance.  It was kind of unbelievable, especially considering she's only a first year grad student!

10. I need to see several movies before the Oscars, including The Hurt Locker, Crazy Heart, and It's Complicated.  I also want to see Dear John, despite the not-so-great things I've heard about it (Channing Tatum is a god) and Valentine's Day, but I think I'll wait til after next weekend, when the theater isn't overtaken by lovesick couples (ew).

11. Had my first IUDM Alumni Relations Committee meeting and am so excited about the work that we're going to be doing.  We have a very large task at hand, trying to expand our alumni base and bring them into the foreground of the marathon, but the committee is full of creative and talented people, and I'm confident we have the necessary tools to do this.  It definitely made me feel better about everything.

12. Finally, I still feel like God is preparing me for something awesome right now, but He still hasn't quite revealed to me what that is.  I'm continuing to pray about it.  Those of you who pray, would you mind praying for me to have patience and to not lose my trust in His plan?  That would be fabulous. 

I think that's enough of an update for now.  Not much else to report.  Hope those of you on the east coast are staying out of the cold and snow...we were expecting more snow in Btown, but it looks like we got about 6 or so inches and a lot of wind instead.