BEDA Vingt...It's like the best music playin' in your ear

Yesterday, as you know, I sub-taught ballet at one of the local studios in town (actually, one of my girls from Orlando showed up and took my class...it was weird), and then my mom picked me up, and we drove to Chicago (all things know, all things know...lolsufjanstevensjokes...) to see Billy Elliot.  Oh my gosh, I am sooooo glad I was so privileged to be able to see it.  Cesar Corrales, a native of Mexico and National Ballet of Canada trained dancer, was our Billy.  OH. MY. GOD.  I seriously have no words.  He was so talented and had so much energy and endurance and AHH!  For some idea of how much work the young Billys have done see this video.

Overall, it was a terrific show.  I was especially impressed with Emily Skinner as Mrs. Wilkinson.  She was just brilliant and actually kind of reminded me of an 80s Northern English version of my old dance teacher.  And the kid who played Michael (I don't have my program in front of my so I can't be sure but I think it was Gabriel Rush) was just freaking gifted.  Totally hilarious, particularly in the scene when he wears his sister's clothes.  That kid is going to go so far!  The music was brilliant, and the set was very cool.  And it was also a lot funnier than I remember the movie was.  Really, I had no complaints, except for one.  The guy who played Older Billy (now, I think he was a swing, and, therefore, not the regular) was not impressive.  I mean, the scene was still brilliant--Billy dancing alongside his older self to Swan Lake music and doing aerial work on a wire--but the Older Billy was, honestly, not good.  Kind of chunky and noticeably not turned out with very little extension.  But, as that was my only complaint, it was an incredible show, and, if you live near London, New York, or Chicago, or the tour (which begins in November) is coming anywhere near you, go see it!  You won't be disappointed.

Ew, my cat just drooled on me.  Not kidding.

Tomorrow, my mom, grandma, Dave, and I are driving up to Michigan to spend the weekend at a family friend's lake cottage.  Super stoked to just do nothing but sit on the deck, swim, and drink wine with the fam all weekend.  Btw, according to a CNN article, red wine is one of the top 10 biggest vices that are actually good for you.  There...so one of my guilty pleasures may not be so guilty after all.

On a more serious note, I was talking with my mom in the car last night, and we pretty much came to the conclusion that I am far too anxious, as well as don't know how to believe in myself.  I have always been a worrier.  Letting go and giving up control has never been my strong suit, and I have freaked myself out to the point of hyperventilation or passing out more than is normal.  I am a serious planner, so living "in the moment" has never been easy for me either.  I am an overthinker/overanalyzer, who has to have everything planned out in her head for the future.  Uncertainty is not a good look for me.  And then there's the whole issue of not believing in myself...this is not to be confused with self-confidence...I believe I possess a great deal of that.  This is confidence in my abilities...as a dancer and as a person.  I lack the self-esteem to trust that I can "do anything" or that I am a deserving individual.  Sometimes, I think I've even talked myself out of success because I am too terrified or timid.  This is something I'm determined to work on this year, as I won't very well get a job without believing, first, that I can.

I also read this article today, which stated that for every 100 single women there are only 88 unmarried men.  Awesome.  So the odds are even more against me based on the 2010 Census.  Cool, guys.  Real cool.

Mockingjay comes out Monday night at midnight!!  YAY!  Mao's Last Dancer came out today, but, unfortunately, the closest place it is playing is Chi-town where it probably costs 20 bucks to buy popcorn.  GRR.  I hate that smaller budget or "more artsy" films are only out in select theaters usually.  Lamesauce.  I can't believe there are only eleven more days of BEDA.  I'm really glad I decided to do this, even if sometimes my posts are half-assed or totally lacking in the creativity department.

That's all I've got for today, ladies and gentlemen.  As always, comments are appreciated (iwantmoarcommentsssss).  Have a lovely Friday and a terrific weekend.  I'll be here as usual :)

P.S. I posted a "Dear Future Me" video a la Charlie McDonnell yesterday, in case you're interested.  I think I'm a little too enthusiastic and say "what was she thinking?" a few too many times, but oh well.  Bye!

Currently stuck in my head: "Electricity" from Billy Elliot (what else?).  Particularly the first two lines "I can't really explain it / I haven't got the words / It's a feelin' that you can't control / I suppose it's like forgettin', losin' who you are / and at the same time, somethin' makes yeh whole /  The lyrics are what is really does feel like when dancing isn't painful or terrible or awful.  When there are those moments on stage where it is sheer ecstasy.